I know this will be a controversial post, so bring your popcorn, crack your fingers and get comfy this will be a bumpy ride as we navigate the ins and outs of what many of us THINK of relationships and the future. I have a very strong feeling (based on some of my responses to my comments on Twitter) that this may turn into a Venus vs Mars debate with lines clearly being drawn in the sand but hey. This is why men have that Y chromosome that makes MOST of us SLIGHTLY (understatement of the year) different from our beautiful female counterparts.
I'll just hop right into it, I do not think that ALL men and women pursue each and every relationship they enter with the intention to get married. -dodges tomatoes and other sharp objects being thrown- As ludicrous as this notion may seem I think this is really hinges on age. I believe in marriage, wholeheartedly I do, I believe that there is the perfect match for everyone out there and you have to do some sifting through the rubble to find your match but they are there. For most people I do not believe this innate, almost primal desire to find a life partner does not begin until after the age of 23. I mean we live in a Western society (most of us at least) gone are the days when by 20 you had already popped out 1 kid with maybe another on the way and you were at home slaving over a Hamburger Helper meal while your man worked outside the home. I mean today we live in a Generation Me society, the product of the Fast Food Revolution, we want everything we have dreamed of and we will achieve our goals before settling down, let's face reality here people its FACT.You can not tell me when you were 19, 20, 21 years old and hopping into a new relationship you had marriage on your mind. At this point lets be real you just turned legal, probably just learned how to wash your butt properly and pee without splashing on the seat. You had a person who you liked, would be a good INTERIM companion to get you through those LIFE PURSUIT years and then who knew what would happen after. -insert a Yeezy shrug-This isn't to say the 21 year old boyfriend/girlfriend could not blossom into a long-term, life-long commitment with a wedding ceremony in the Dominican. No this is to say the likelihood of that happening when you are probably working hard to pursue your own, INDIVIDUAL goals that might include traveling, post-graduate overseas, interning in a small African village building wells a relationship at this point may fall by the wayside.I believe the marriage thought really enters the fray is when you're back and you're facing that Quarter Life Crisis that the lil homey Luvvie talked about in here Clutch Magazine article. Its at that age of 24-25, we are done school and searching for our purpose in life. Believe it or not this is what many of us are facing, we are versatile, flexible and extraordinarily talented but we have no clue yet what to do with all the bonuses that make us who we are. Soul-searching is definitely needed, even when you were thinking of marriage, think back on how many times you may have been on the marriage tip but your partner was not there yet, they may have had all of their INDIVIDUAL goals left to pursue.I'll wrap this diatribe up by saying that I love the notion of marriage, I love the pursuit of happiness and eternal bliss. Do I want to point fingers and say women have idealized this notion that every relationship is potentially marriage.. UH YEAH but hey not all women just as some men see it that way as well. I will not however, delude myself into believing every relationship will end in marriage for reasons I have theorized earlier. We pursue relationships for a multitude of reasons, some may have marriage on the brain others definitely do not. Plain and simple, the older you get however, I believe the more secure you become in yourself as a grown up, the more stable you become the more your thought process entertains the idea of finding a mate to build a nest with a Prius, Golden Retriever named Comet and a split level house in a nice suburb (YOU SEE IT!!)-drops mic, turns off lectern light, folds up glasses-
LV
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